'Depressed' Souls; Prepare for Optimism

A few years ago, I was struggling in a particularly difficult time of my life. I had no money, which consequently meant I saw less of my friends and did few activities outside my house (such as going to the cinema or whatever). Looking back now, I realize I was deeply depressed. I had worked my ass off for several months for different companies; without getting paid. I was expected to work because "I wanted to make games"; which in my foolish honestly; made sense to me at the time. Even when I did acquire paid work, I finished the contracts only to not get paid. I realized that getting a job in Games Design was going to be exceptionally difficult. It seems that every job required you to have several years experience and no one was willing to take a chance. This meant I spent a few months working every day on my portfolio, which I'd now changed to focus more on Environment Art. Which seemed to be a more obtainable goal. I gave myself a deadline of 5 working days to complete each Environment that I would design. I would work from 9 til 5, in order to maintain my body clock to "work mode"; which I still have today.

During this time, I would enjoy several game streams as I became more aware of Twitch, and the personalties on it. There were several casters who I took a liking to; Ellohime, Spamfish, Excessive Profanity and ManVsGame. At this time, Dark Souls 2 had been released; a game I was really looking forward to, but couldn't quite justify buying it. So instead I watched these streamers play it; particularly ManVsGame; whom I would actually tune into every morning, to watch. What surprised me was that; these weren't the best gamers on the planet; they were simply great at providing an entertaining broadcast, through engaging with the chat and being sharp and witty should they overcome, one of the many challenges in the games they were playing. Dark Souls 2 is a game that is notoriously difficult. Not quite as difficult as the other games in the series but hard, nonetheless. Knowing this, watching ManVsGame fail repeatedly at various bosses, made me feel like I was in the fight with him. I would cheer and applaud if he beat a boss, despite no one hearing me. And bosses became tedious to me, as well as him, when he fought them in vain, losing consecutively (often up to 10 or so times). This allowed me to experience Dark Souls 2 not just as if I was playing, but also with a community. I got to experience the game I was dying to play, with all the highs and lows, and I got to feel part of a community; despite feeling very lonely. This however was merely the first step towards recovery; as a week or so later (possibly with one eye closed and trying not to think about what I was doing); I bought Dark Souls 2.

Dark Souls 2 is not one of my favourite games. I prefer Dark souls 1, I think Bloodborne is one of the finest games ever made and Demon's Souls, well, it’s... ok, it’s not as good as Dark Souls 2. But for me, Dark Souls 2 is one of the most important games I've ever played. Not because of any design choice made, or the quality of the game; but because it helped me overcome my severe depression. It taught me that perseverance would pay off in the end.

In the Souls series, there’s a set format for how to play the game. The player must be patient; this is to ensure that the player is more defensive and learns to anticipate; this is particularly important early on and consequently players cannot hope to progress without adapting their playing style. Secondly, the player will learn they are never truly alone. Yes, the player will need to overcome most challenges alone and they are usually the only person standing against it. But messages are left across the ground to help and advice other players. Phantoms (presented as Ghosts but are in fact other players) walk the same paths as you, trying to overcome the same challenges. Bloodstains are left upon death, so that players know death is around the corner if they’re not careful. But also, and perhaps most importantly, the players can summon help at nearly anytime. And in Dark Souls, the community of gamers is often more than happy to help a player achieve progress in the game. Lastly, the player must (as the tagline suggests) Prepare to Die. This is not a simple wink at the difficulty of the game. But the sooner the player learns that dying in the game, doesn’t mean failure as long as they learn something in the process; the better. This is because, theoretically if the player can reach the spot they died previously and overcome whatever befell them; they typically will be in a better position than when they died. This is because, the player will have learnt several steps already and should be able to reach the distance in less time, taking less damage, and using fewer resources. Not to mention that the ‘Souls’ regained after having been dropped, will be increased due to them being added to the Souls acquired after death. In fact, I think it’s fair to say because of this; the Souls have very little value during active Gameplay and combat; most gamers, will no doubt see them as really important. In truth it is far more important that the player can learn to use the skills they’ve already got to overcome obstacles, rather than trying to build on something that they’ve not yet achieved (see how this is starting to tie back?).

This setup is, in my opinion, a rather optimistic style of games design, once the player learns it of course. It’s one of the many reasons the Souls series has such a great cult following, aside from trying to unravel the mysteries of the stories and helping each other through fights. The challenges presented always seem great and yet are always achievable. This is because, Games are inherently optimistic as they can always be completed. And The Souls series is no different; whilst difficult, everyone knows can be beaten. Despite what some people may say or think, outside of the very first death; the game never kills you for you to learn something. In fact, the game never presents a challenge, which you can’t overcome with perseverance, skill and adaptability. This is because, From Software actually want you to reach the end, they want the player to overcome their game. Why wouldn’t they want this? The only difference between this and most games is that they want the player to feel like they’ve earned it.

Dark souls 2 presents a format of mini challenges that culminate in greater challenge; a boss. These mini challenges are simply several steps that the player must overcome to reach the boss. The bosses are always the hardest enemies the player will have fought up until that point. They of course, have varying degrees of difficulty but the biggest difficulty the player needs to overcome is the desperation of needing to defeat the boss. These challenges, great and small, combine in to something that often feels only faintly achievable. But with each small step overcome, the optimism of the player rises. This makes the game surprisingly therapeutic, but also rewarding. Bizarrely, as the game progressed, any death just made me more determined to finish the game. It seemed to me that; my hope of success was almost more exciting than success itself.

To relate back, depression is defined as “feelings of severe despondency and dejection”. Games however, are naturally the opposite of this; they’re designed to encourage the player to be optimistic and more importantly feel involved; the game doesn’t progress without the player. And as I’ve already outlined; Dark Souls 2 did this in abundance for me; but not only that, it helped me lift myself out of the dark place that had become my life. The optimism I felt playing Dark Souls 2, actually carried on into my life. I would leave the game and tell people I’d beaten this or that boss; even if they had no idea what that meant. This is because I was achieving something; ‘I’ had done it. And just as I became determined to beat Dark Souls 2, I became more determined to pull myself out of the dark place, I was in.

And sure enough, a few months later, I got the job I have had for 2 years now. Coincidentally, I’m also now playing Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin, as I look towards a new job and new challenges. 

Prepare for Optimism.

Review of 2015

This year, I saw a radical change in the types of people who play games. It occurred to me, that pretty much everyone is playing games in some form. And of the people who are not - they should. The escapism created by games released this year, seemed to bridge a gap to so many facets of gaming; that there was something for everyone. It is truly astonishing that a game like the brilliant Her Story; could not only survive and be accepted to the gaming community but also receive several Game of the Year nominations from game outlets, including Polygon; in which it won. For the first time this year, I went to a Games Convention. And without pointing fingers or names, I realized that this in fact was not for me. Not because I wasn’t interested in anything that was on show but the excitement from the show came from discussing with other developers, as opposed to playing their games. When those developers seem few and far between; I felt a little out of place. The show itself changed my outlook on games; based on what types of games I would make in future and instead of thinking “oh this would be a cool idea”; design my games specifically for a target audience (Which I am in fact now doing on my next release). This in turn lead me to realize that I should never attend such an event without bringing a game of my own. On the topic of Target Audience and everyone playing games; this year, despite my mum having been playing games for literally years in some form (Solitare etc.); I finally noticed she was in fact addicted to games. She was always playing games throughout the year; often combining them with other tasks; such as watching TV or reading a book. And although she would disagree, I would argue she plays more games than me. And I played a lot of games this year. No, my mum did not play Bloodborne but she probably played hundreds of versions of Bust-A-Move.

In years gone by when I think of AAA Games that have come out; I tend to only think about Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty games which are out every year. This year it seemed like most of the releases in AAA hit an incredibly high standard of Gameplay and polish. Many of them either throwing out fresh ideas and others revamping their already existing franchises. By making most aspects of the Game Design process feeling iterated and refined to create the best experiences. Games like Dying Light, Bloodborne, The Phantom Pain, The Witcher and Fallout 4, all delivered exceptional experiences for the majority of their content. Slightly worrying is that all of these games seem to have a large open world to explore, and I would argue that only Bloodborne had exceptional crafted Level Design, but no matter; as in each of these games the core Gameplay was incomparable. Which leads me on to my list for my top 10 games, in no order:

• Bloodborne – Master crafted in every sense of the word. The only bad point was that despite three plays clocking at nearly 100 hours and achieving the platinum trophy; I wish there was more of it. Thankfully, the Old Hunters was released which I shall jump on just as soon as other games are cleared out the way.
• Downwell – I’d been following this game for a while, but I was quite surprised how effective the game it delivered its blend of rogue and shoot ‘em up Gameplay. I’ve only played it on PC but it is easily one of the most addictive games of the year and I shall be getting it for Android as soon as its released.  
• Fallout 4 – I feel like the excitement of Fallout quickly died out. I was a little thankful of this because I wanted Fallout to be of the more solitary experience that it tries to deliver. I was underwhelmed by the story but the moments I remember from Fallout 3 are just amplified in Fallout 4; raiding supermarkets and underground bunkers for loot. Fallout 4 also painted some incredible imagery for me personally which last long in my mind ahead of many other games this year.
• Her Story – I couldn’t believe how much this game sucked me in. The game only lasts around 2 – 3 hours but it had its hooks me in me from start to finish. Twice I stopped playing only to immediately return and keep going when I thought of a new keyword. The Non-Linear Narrative is truly something special that many games developers (and indeed people from any media related industry) should experience at least once.
• MGS V: The Phantom Pain – Despite my disappointment with the game; it’s hard to argue that the immediate Gameplay is not completely stellar. Two games this year for me had near perfect controls and technical game elements (camera etc.); one was Bloodborne, the other was The Phantom Pain.
• OlliOlli 2 – Addictive and fluid Gameplay, matched with catchy tunes makes for everything that Skateboarding game you didn’t know you wanted, excellent. This was one of the few games I played on my Vita, as well as on my PS4 and the experience didn’t diminish on the handheld. This was a game that I felt I was designing when I wasn’t playing it, as I tried to formulate combos and manoeuvres, whilst working etc.
• Rocket League – After having time to sit on it, 6 months later, I’m still playing Rocket League. Its arguably my game of the year, sitting equally on top with Bloodborne. My already endless love expanded when I began to learn how to anticipate the ball dropping and start creating lots of chances for my teammates, as opposed to simply trying to score. The fact it’s so simple; makes it easily one of the most remarkable games of 2015.
• Splatoon – I’m not much of an online shooter fan. I’m not much of a painter. I don’t know anything about squids. But Splatoon has all of that and it’s pretty great. I struggled with placing either Splatoon or Mario Maker on this list. But I think the fact that Splatoon feels so fresh and unique, whilst continuously fun; means it’s obviously very special. More of this Nintendo, please!
• The Talos Principle – 3d puzzle games always sound tedious and repetitive in my head. Maybe it’s the potential of having to design one. But Portal is one of (if not) my favourite games of all time; so I should love them. Turns out I do because The Talos Principle is as mind-bendingly iterative as a game can get; and it’s great. The fact that the only real base player interaction is to pick up and place an object, shows you how genius simplicity can be.
• Witcher 3 + DLC  - This game shows how narrative decisions need not be so black and white. To continuously create morally grey area questions, which ask the player to decide which is the lesser of two evils, is excellent and far more inviting than most "alignment" quests in other RPGs. Creating this world must have been so much fun, as it clearly has a lot of love poured into it. Hearts of Stone is one of the finest expansions I’ve played and actually enhanced the game for me.

The Evil Within and the Importance of Game Association

During the summer of 2015, I revisited a few games that; having been released in the previous year, had eluded me for whatever reason. The Evil Within was one such game.

I'm quite aware of the games that get released and I know how well theyve been received. So I knew that (at least through major outlets), The Evil Within had a mixed response from Gamers. Some loved it, some not so much. In a time where I had little money, it probably wasnt a wise investment for me to gamble my money on something that I might not enjoy (I'm usually quite good at knowing what I enjoy). So I didn't buy it. Thankfully, a year later, The Evil Within is great. I actually found it extremely intense to play, like to headache inducing, but in a good way. It's definitely reminiscent of Resident Evil 4; one of my favourite games of all time, but focused more on survival horror. Ammo and Health packs were scarce, enemies took plenty of damage and the environment seemed far more cramped; creating a claustrophobic experience.

During my time with The Evil Within, I was preparing for my Driving Test. This as you can imagine, was a particularly stressful time, where The Evil Within was possibly not the best choice for calming my nerves.  I managed to beat the game a few days prior to my test. This however, managed to come at an ill-opportune time as I was also waiting for the release of the Phantom Pain, which was the same day as my test. As I waited, this left me without anything to take my mind from the impending test, causing the pressure to build similarly to the intense pressure of The Evil Within.

On the eve of my test (and the Phantom Pain, of course), I could hear my brother playing some music whilst he worked. The song was “Clair De Lune” a classical piano piece performed by French composer, Claude Debussy. Whilst, this slow and soft piece of music played, I began to relax and my headache went away. Where had I heard this music before? Well it was not but a few days earlier whilst playing The Evil Within.

During the Evil Within, the intense pressure and threat of imminent death around every corner made me particularly careful. That pressure built greatly on my mental strength, as I couldn’t bear the thought of having start an area again. Throughout the game, this piece of music “Clair De Lune” would be met with a sudden burst of excitement and rush, quickly met by a deep calmness. The music would emit from save rooms as inside these rooms you could save, as well as unlock additional resources and purchase upgrades. More important than any of these, was that it was also a safe room; where enemies literally couldn’t get to you. This bought valuable time to reassess and invigorate mental wellbeing, before getting back into the nightmare. Sure enough, I kept expecting one of these rooms to turn into a trap where a boss would come and smash me into pieces. You’ll be thankful to learn, this never happens; partly due to it not making sense story-wise but also Gameplay-wise.

Something I had never completely considered when designing games was Game Association. I have of course, some experience with this – Allies being Blue and Enemies being Red. But to associate a song with something so prominent in the game as being safe; something which in most games is a menu where the player presses Save or Buy; it changes a player’s outlook on the scenario at hand; particularly in a survival horror setting. For example, whenever (and I mean whenever) I would hear “Clair De Lune” playing, I would immediately run to the door, and couldn't wait to be greeted by the creepy nurse (who even being creepy is not at all creepy compared to everything outside). This often meant I would bypass resources and potentially enemies just to create my next “checkpoint”. This process of Gameplay was exceptionally powerful for me as the player. I believe it’s because this kind of feedback is most often triggered by player interaction, and not by me hearing the music from a couple of corridors over. I didn’t have to run to the door, but as a logical next step; it made sense for me to do so in order to feel as though I was making progress, whatever the outcome as soon as I left the room would be. These save rooms also allowed me to test out areas knowing I would die, just to see the traps and enemies that were lurking beyond; this ultimately calmed my nerves more so.

So in future, I will incorporate as much Game Association into whatever games I decide to make. And yes, by the way, I passed my Driving Test.

The Last of Us; An Exemplary Example of Narrative and Game Design Harmony

In the lull of the summer months; whilst waiting for the Phantom Pain to release, I took the time to revisit a few games (whether for the first time, or for a second look). One of these games was The Last of Us (Remastered edition for PS4), which I didn't manage to finish till after I was done with The Phantom Pain. As I'm sure you're aware, The Last of Us is a game set in a post apocalyptic setting; 20 years after an outbreak of Cordyceps, a disease known to the player as "the Infection". It's an Action/ Adventure / Survival Horror game, with a primary focus on Narrative progression between our two protagonists, Joel and Ellie. As this is a narrative appreciation and reflective gameplay comprehension, most game plot points will be discussed. And so it goes without saying; spoilers ahead.

This was not my first playthrough of The Last of Us. In my initial playthrough of the game (roughly 2 years ago); I was slightly underwhelmed by the game; after reading so much of its glowing appraisal. I did play it later on, after the heat had died down. And couldn't help be a bit surprised by the faults I could see, particularly with the AI of both Allies and Enemies, which even on re-release had not improved. As such, my view was slightly soured and whilst I enjoyed the game, I didn't think it was deserving of all the praise it got; particularly in the gameplay department. As somewhat of connoisseur (debatable) of Stealth Games, I was incredibly frustrated with the enemy's inability to detect Ellie, despite her frequent crossing their paths. Obviously, for the player, this would have been incredibly frustrating regardless; but for a game that prided itself so much on its realism and harsh world; these moments sucked me straight out. That was until I played the second time around, just a month or so ago. On this playthrough, I put the difficulty up to max. This time I wanted to experience everything the game could throw at me. I was going to stealth around and pick up every consumable and rely on stealth as opposed to combat. I really wanted to try and gauge what was so incredible and revolutionary about the game. Luckily, the PS4 Remastered edition has been released now, complete with the DLC chapter Left Behind, which I'd never played before. And what I discovered was a game that, through every aspect of its design, had created a synergy between everything in its narrative to everything in the game's ambiance. A Harmony.

The Harmony of a game is something that is clearly overlooked in a lot of games that feel inconsistent. And it's important to revert back to the game's original Harmony, to make sure that any and all future design decisions are congruous with it. In his lecture "Listen", Brian Moriarty explained the importance of Harmony in games:

"Games with harmony emerge from a fundamental note of clear intention. From design decisions based on an ineffable sense of proportion and rightness. Its presense produces an emotional resonance with its audience. A sense of inner unity that has nothing to do with what or how you did something, it has something to do with why. Myst and Gemstone both have harmony. They have it, because their makers had a vision of the experience they were trying to achieve and the confidence to attain it. They laid down a solid, ambient groove that player and their respective markets can relate to emotionally. They resisted the urge to overbuild. They didn't pile on a lot of gratuitous features just so they could boast about them. And they resisted the temptation to employ inappropriate emotional effects. Effects like shock violence, bad language, inside humour."

Now, the last section of that paragraph doesn't necessarily apply to The Last of Us, mainly because the harmony of the Last of Us allows the game to incorporate the bad language and violence, because it is conforming to the world the game creates. It's believable. But this paragraph reiterates what I was saying previously, the world and its inhabitants, the way the player moves are consistent with the themes set in the game. And surely not by luck or accident; Neil Druckmann and Bruce Straley; directors at Naughty Dog; had intended and designed these features. Consequently, Brian goes on to say:


"You know, the suspension of disbelief is fragile. It's hard to achieve it, and hard to maintain. One bit of unnecessary gore, one hip colloquialism, one reference to anything outside of the imaginary world you've created is enough to destroy that world. These cheap effects are the most common indictators of a lack of vision or confidence. People who put this stuff into their games are not working hard enough."

This is something I've been guilty of in the past. Tacking on something that I thought was "innovative or interesting", without thinking of the Harmony that it might compromise. Hopefuly, I won't be doing it again, and thankfully, Naughty Dog; as well as limitations could allow, didn't compromise the narrative they tried to deliver by breaking this Harmony either. The Last of Us, delivers this consistent Harmony through every aspect of the game. And the player can feel it all directly through the eyes of Joel and Ellie.

So to start, let's begin exactly there; with our main characters, Joel and Ellie. Joel is a man, through the loss of his daughter, is worn and withered. He's a survivalist as are most in the world now, and he is a smuggler in, a long since thriving, Boston. As Joel, the player learns of a doublecross in which the items he has risked his life for, are now gone. But he can retrieve them, on successful delivery of a girl called Ellie. Ellie is a 14 year old girl who has only known the world she lives in now. As such, much of her mannerisms and dialogue, are that of someone carefree and somewhat aggressive towards Joel, this man who she suddenly must obey in absolute. This initial setup is met with trepidation from both Joel and Ellie. Joel doesn't want to be babysitting and Ellie doesn't want to be tied to someone she doesn't trust. This is reflected brilliantly in the opening sequences, as the gameplay features a lot of handholding of Ellie and the player (as Joel) relying on themselves to do a lot of the work. Over the course of the game, this dynamic relationship grows as the bleak but also uplifting moments help them to bond, this is also reflected brilliantly in the games design; as many of the puzzles and combat utilize Ellie; as a means to progress or distract enemies. This dynamic eventually culminates in the final chapter where they are finally a team. Something that was lost on me in my initial playthrough was that, in this late section of the game; Joel refers to Ellie as "Kiddo"; which was his nickname for his daughter, Sarah.

What we learn as the story develops is that Ellie has been infected, but not mutated. It is possible that her lack of transformation means that her genes could very well be a cure for the mutation. This leads Marlene, head of an underground rebel operation called the fireflies; to enlist the help of Joel in order to deliver her to a secret laboratory base across the country. This inner resistance to the mutation is special in a number of ways, not just through the story but also the art direction as well. The game features many cities that are overgrown with plantation, due to the lack of populous. But this is also much like what the mutation causes to the infected themselves, like the people as well as the cities are returning to the earth. But the level design in these cities, depite being urban, is surprisingly quite natural and organic like the world that grows on it. Most set pieces create obstacles through this torn down environment, quite literally. Many of the game's navigational puzzles focus on the player's inability to simply climb the stairs (usually by blocked paths or simply crumbled away). As such, the player will look for ladders which can be placed anywhere against a wall. The sections with water limit the player's ability to progress with Ellie as she can't swim. Thus require the player to find an object that can float, and carry Ellie across the body of water. Most secrets are hidden behind locked doors which require the player to use a shiv; a valuable weapon used to dispatch most enemies in a single hit. These limitations (and maybe even irritations for Joel), are an exact opposite to the hope that Ellie brings to a hopeful conclusion.

Over the course of the game, the player will primarily play as Joel. As Joel, the player can almost feel the enormous weight that has been placed on his shoulders; all of his movement is very slow and heavy. It reflects his aging body, but also the world around him; that feels inches from giving up. Throughout the early section of the game, it feels like this heaviness; is a reflection that Joel could quite easily give up and turn around. As many in the world no doubt have already. But once certain moments are reached, you get the sense that Joel is really thinking "Well, it can't be for naught", these moments also work quite well as the difficulty of the task begins to ramp up. And as the difficulty escalates, so to does Joel's interpretation of the situation; he's now doing this for Ellie. Despite this weight of movement on Joel only really changing when the danger appears to have lifted; the combat keeps a consistency to this heavy nature of the world. Every encounter feels even more dramatic than the last; as the stakes rise with it. The combat itself is brutal and emotional for both characters. Joel utilizes many blunt objects throughout their journey. Once an enemy takes a few hits, the player will be able to finish them a breathtaking blow; which rarely doesn't feel impactful. What is satisfying, is that the game (unlike so many others), doesn't take the time to slow it down as you bask in the brutality. It takes a quick zoom, so you know exactly what you did. And it is horrific. Almost like the game is saying "You're doing this, but at what cost?". This is something that I'll revisit later on.

Throughout the game, the player might receive a lot of damage. Thankfully, as Joel is a survivor he can craft first aid kits from the items he finds in the world. This is a stark contrast to Naughty Dogs previous work, as in Uncharted, the player's health will revive gradually over time. In this game, the player is expected to feel the panic of trying to heal themselves in the midst of battle, to once again mirror the harsh world around them. It comes as no surprise then; that the moment when Joel finally shows some vulnerability; is upon incapacitation via a stray piece of rebar to the abdomen. Up until this point, Joel has taken hits, and through the suspension of disbelief, we've learned to accept that he'll be ok, as long as he patches himself up afterwards. But in the moment he falls, we as the player also fall and there's a definite realization that this time; it's probably not going to be ok. This moment is preceded with a QTE, where the player thinks they've a choice in what happens next. Even knowing what happens, I still smashed that button desperately in vain to save him. Falling off the balcony; the camera falls with him and in this dramatic moment; we see what lies in wait, but are powerless to stop it. Suddenly, the game quickly cuts to a shot of Joel getting impaled.

It occurs to me, that this moment, is so the player can get to play as Ellie. This might seem obvious, but the intention is not to just change the scenario. But is once again to reflect the harsh reality of the world around them. It is also a reflection of the opening moments, when the player plays as Sarah, and suddenly the unknown of what's going to happen next, is seen through a child's eyes. From this moment on; the game is ultimately raising the emotional stakes for the final act. But in playing as Ellie, we get to experience a different play style. As she is young and small in stature; many obstacles that might have restricted Joel are no longer present. She has an attitude of determination and thus feels a little more lightfooted. Nearly all of the combat in this section is fought with guns; as Ellie doesn't carry the large blunt weapons Joel does. She does however carry a knife, which is vital to dispatching unaware enemies without making noises and not using valuable ammo. Despite these obvious advantages, it once again seems like the stakes are raised; due to the player playing as the character they've been protecting the entire game. Not to mention that she is alone. It's no surprise that in this section of the game, it is Winter. In congruence with the narrative, the seasons also change over the course of the Journey. This cold chapter for a lone Ellie, is reflected not just in the storyline, but the very weather around her. It breathes the desperation that the entire game has conveyed, as she now has to trust a man she doesn't know. Which once again is a mirror of that she was so unwilling to do earlier for Joel, but now must in order to save him.

**Major Spoilers for the finale of the game**

... But at what cost? In the final section of the game, Joel and Ellie are set to complete their journey. There's a complication in which both are put in peril at the final hurdle; once again raising the emotional stakes. In the following scene, we discover that Ellie is currently prepped for surgery. A surgery which will end her life, but potentially find a cure. And it is in this moment that the whole game has been building to. Her immunity is her death and Joel can't stand to see another daughter die. He does the unthinkable and takes on the people hes tried so hard to reach. This dramatic turn of events is possibly way the game has received such high acclaim. And it is on my lack of appreciation, that the first time around; I wasn't quite attached to Ellie to make this finale the event it needed to be. Indeed, I probably would have sacrificed her in the same situation. But on my second playthrough, for whatever reason, I'd grown more attached. As mentioned, the emotional stakes of my journey were more impactful and as Joel, it's not good enough that "they might find the cure". In Joel's desperation, just as the entire game has felt desperate; he kills so many fireflies. The player kills so many fireflies. It climaxes with the player needing to shoot the surgeon, to step away from Ellie. The game waits for the player to do so. There's no backing out now. The Moment where Joel carries Ellie away from the lab, is a mirror moment from the opening of the game where Joel carries Sarah from the Infected. This not only reinforces the father-daughter bond shared between Joel and Ellie; but also shows how much Joel has changed over (not just the course of the game) but from opening moment of the game. As in this moment, we also see Joel not even hesitate to shoot Marlene. A dark and climatic moment, which is under such similar scenarios to the opening but obviously, Joel now has not waited for an outcome but has instead created it. Stating, "You'd just come after her." Its a moment so desperate and shocking, yet completely believable from the narrative perspective; and the arc that Joel makes. It's also a very fitting conclusion to the similarly desperate and tragic acts that have taken place before it.

It's a moment which completely changes the entire narrative, the gameplay which the player has experienced and redefines the title of the game itself. As one man's jealously potentially ends the world; and asks the question: What about the Last of Us?

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain - Sad Face

It's been a month now since I first sat down with Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain. In those subsequent weeks, I managed to finish both Chapter 1 and 2. After the review embargo dropped and the different outlets started to release their reviews; obviously I couldn't help but be consumed by the hype. As the 10 out of 10s kept coming, I knew that the game would be masterpiece for everyone and not just the die hard Metal Gear fans who have been engrossed in the series for 20 odd years (Myself included). And being one of the few also who not only bought Ground Zeroes 3 times; but also thoroughly enjoyed it; you can imagine that my expectancy of the game would be high.

I started playing the game. "The Man Who Sold the World" comes on the radio and I sat in awe that I was finally playing the game. What a great song to open with; my face immediately lit up. That was until I noticed something, it took me aback, it was something I then chose to ignore and thought "Well maybe that wasnt intentional". I forgot about it for a time. Right up till the final mission when you play the first mission again, and I realized it wasn't unintentional; because based on the previous 100 hours how could it. Whilst Snake is laying in bed, the player has control over a first person view in which they can look around the room in blurred vision. Unfortunately, during this sequence a nurse leans over exposing her rather large cleveage. I thought the industry was passed this? Clearly, Kojima didn't get the message, as one of the games main characters spends the entire game undressed, over sexualized, parading around trying to ... entice the gamer? I'm not entirely sure. But as I'm sure you're aware many critics have talked in detail about Quiet and her 'movements', and indeed the game's portrayal of women in general. And I would direct you to the jimquisition for a much better analysis than I could ever produce. http://www.thejimquisition.com/2015/09/the-jimquisition-a-quiet-conversation/

Instead, I will focus on purely the gameplay aspects. As previously stated, I was all set up to join the bandwagon and love every minute of The Phantom Pain. I was ready (as you'll note in previous posts) to place The Phantom Pain at the top of the pile for my personal Game of the Year. So, why is it that I can't help but be massively underwhelmed by the game? I'm not saying that the game is bad. In fact, the moment to moment gameplay and the controls of Snake are some of the best I've ever seen/played. It's incredibly enjoyable to play the game when infiltrating a base, taking out guards and fultoning them out. But there's just something severely lacking in the game.

For all the talk of the game's innovative approach to gameplay and the almost limitless solutions the game boasts to have on offer. The simple tactic of sneaking in, fultoning out the guards and progress with little resistance; is arguably the most logical way to progress. For me, I did this for near the entire game. I bought so many guns and equipment that I'm not even sure why. I never used hardly any of them (something I'll get back to later on). This method, is simply the best way to play the game. It's the easiest, most rewarding (theoretically and mechanically speaking) and 'correct' way to play.

• When approaching a base, the player will usually look to find a high vantage point that overlooks the base. This might be a Watch tower or tall building, but more often than not its a cliff that encompasses the target area. Most successful missions will start like this, regardless of approach.
• Once all enemies are marked, the player will sneak down to the base and take out any guards patrolling the external area. I found that in most cases, the player can make plenty of noise up to roughly 25-30 meters from enemies. This means that the player can takedown and exfiltrate any enemies without alerting anyone as long as their distance is greater than 30 meters. It should be noted, that the player can pickup downed enemies and move them (just like any MGS). So the player can move enemies out of this "30 meter" zone and fulton them from further away.
• At this external stage of the map, the player should make use of CQC (close quarters combat) to takedown enemies silently, gain additional information and most importantly, save the Suppressor on their tranquilizer gun. The CQC hold also leaves the enemy incapacitated for longer than the tranquilizer.
• Once inside the base, it becomes more difficult to manage multiple targets that might be closing in on you, so the player should make use of the tranquilizer now. But only in absolute circumstances, make sure to be patient and wait for guards to break from their patrolling pattern. 
• The player doesn't need to remove all the guards, just the ones closest to the objective. If all goes well, the player should have a fairly simple journey to and from the objective. 

This method as stated is the easiest, most rewarding and correct way to play. It's a fairly straight forward way to play the game. Some might argue that their is no "correct" way to play. But this is the best way to achieving an "S" Rank at the end of the mission via No Alarms, Zero casualties etc. And it's the most rewarding because its the best way to increase Mother Base and probably the most satisfying to play. Before I continue, I should point out that this method of play was enjoyable and very satisfying to play. I would add however, that this was my method for the entire game. And only when I upgraded gear, did my method only slightly change E.g. Fultoning out even more soldiers. This whilst enjoyable, wasn't satisfying long term.

Outside of this Base infiltration gameplay, we have some very, very strange decisions. When you enter one of the 2 large open spaces, you have many missions to carry out inside. Usually, you'll drop in via helicopter at the location closest to the mission your about to undertake. You then do the mission, like above. But once you're done you're left with 2 options. Either get a helicopter to pick you up from the location you dropped in. Or run (usually across the entire map (up to 20 minutes)) to your next destination. It's in these moments I encountered my first great frustration with the game. The Level Design is completely all over the place. Most of the well designed areas are self contained buildings in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by abandoned buildings. Nearly all the buildings are shacks that have been copy and pasted. I loved the previous games in huge part for their level designs. I can remember nearly every location from the games, inside and out. In this open world; I can only remember a few locations at best, and that's not because they're well designed / thought out. But in most cases they're the only one of it's kind in the game, for instance, the Oil Plant. These areas are fun to play inside, but they never feel entirely together. Most buildings you can enter are bare bones. The buildings that actually look interesting can't be accessed.

I believe this is because the whole game is based around this open world mechanic, the stealth scenarios are setup for an open world; and would be completely negated within walls. Unfortunately this leads to large open sections of the player just running, and running, and running. For me, this open world just negates the value of stealth in general, especially when it was arguably highly refined by GOTP. What I mean by this is, in previous games if you had to hide you couldn't simply run out of the area, you had to find a hiding spot, be it in a locker, behind a barrel etc. It seems strange to me that the open world setup is quite prominent in games today; that's not to say I don't enjoy them; but I found myself longing for some linearity and limitations to what I can do. Leaving me to find the solution under pressure like previous games. The difference between an open world game like the Witcher 3 and this, is that; in the Witcher, there's a necessity for the open world. There's people to meet to expand your knowledge of the game, characters who not only interact with you but may give you missions great and small. There's environmental storytelling, which tells a story which is completely seperate from the game, one that the player will never be a part of; making the world feel alive. There's secrets to find within these locations, new loot like a shiny new sword, books which tell a story about the location your in, and indeed more quests to find treasures and such. In the Phantom Pain, there's none of this, making the open world feel dead. The most the player can do is walk into huts and press pickup on incidental resources. This leaves me very confused. What's the point of an open world if there's nothing to explore?

This conveniently leads me onto my next point which is about Mother Base. In the open world, there's little reason to explore. In previous games, the player was rewarded by exploring; finding new items and weapons. "Procure all weapons on site" is the information often told to Snake in the previous games. That moment, when you hop in the back of the truck in MGS1 and find the SOCOM Pistol, was a magical moment. It's a standout moment from my childhood. Now, in The Phantom Pain, I'm told requirements that need to met. I pickup vague Blueprints for 010111WHOCARES, only to find out that my R&D Team is too low a level. And even then, I have to wait an hour or so for them to make it. And then, I have to spend more resources for them to drop it in to me. What the fuck is this? This isn't Metal Gear. I bought many of these weapons and tools but hardly ever used any of them. Not only because my method of play was clearly the best, but also I had no attachment to them. No backstory of the hundreds of men I had to kill in order to acquire them. No wonder of  "how will this weapon change gameplay?" I already knew what they were like. Instead of developing new weapons, these "valuable" resources can also be used to develop Mother Base; something I imagine even the diehard Phantom Pain fans couldn't say they liked. It's so lifeless, there's so little to explore. It might as well not be in the game, there's no reason to ever go to Mother Base other than forced Cutscenes. The entire game, I was waiting for it to get attacked and when it finally does, the game plays a cutscene. Each of the struts (very reminiscent of the Big Shell from MGS2) are so far apart its ludacris, it takes minutes in some cases to reach other struts via a car! This time can be shortened by using the delivery fast travel. But if the designers knew the distance was so far that it required a fast travel; why not just move the struts closer? It would have looked more epic and at least; I might have had the desire to explore them.

The Foward Operating Bases, serve as another way to spend these in-game resources. These feature a base infiltration mission but on another player, which is closer to what I wanted from the game. But even they appear to be locked behind a pay wall of microtransactions yet setup exactly the same as Mother Base and indeed the development of Weapons and Tools. It leads me to suspect, that the microtransactions were at one stage a larger part of the entire game. With the final section of the game cut and Kojima being fired and brought back as contractor, I believe this to be the cause; the microtransactions that had flooded his idea for the game. It seems odd that their are so many options for microtransactions that arent there. Ability to buy the weapons and tools ahead of R&D for example. I'm not say that I wanted it, but feels like the game was setup to use such a system. Especially when the game is full of management and micro economy systems.

Finally, my biggest complaint with the game is the lack of any boss battles. There are few moments where you fight "The Skulls". But theyre for the most part just normal enemies that have armour to act like bullet sponges, that you can finish off with Quick Time Events. Yes. Those. Every previous Metal Gear has had epic boss battles. The moments when you finally get to unleash the arsenal you've been carrying for 10 hours and see what it can do. It's incredibly rewarding and satisfying. Especially as you're usually fighting Metal Gear, giant walking mechanical monsters that can crush you like a fly. It's amazing. In the Phantom Pain you have 1 of those missions. And it's not at all satisfying, firstly because its not very hard and secondly because you don't feel like the odds are stacked against you. In a very bizarre approach; the game often tells the player through credits at the start of every mission; exactly who is going to appear in the mission. What's the point of this? I've no idea. It removes all suspense, especially in moments where the player will think "Oh, I've finished the mission, but didn't the credits say that the Skulls were in it? Oh. There they are. Guess I haven't finished it yet". It breaks immersion, pacing and possibly worst of all; the surprise. Those moments could have actually been good if handled better. The Credits also tell the player exactly what to prepare for, almost like it's saying "Hey you should bring that Rocket Launcher with you! You'll need it!". Instead of just letting the player develop a solution on the fly like the game appears to encourage. And as the game progressed, and those credits rolled, the boss fight I was waiting for, I realized wasn't going to come. The game has Psychic called the Third Boy who is in all probability, Psycho Mantis, one of the most interesting boss battles ever. Do you fight him? No. The Man on Fire, the embodiment of hatred against Snake, manifesting itself in the re-animated body of Volgin. Do you fight him? No. Skull Face, the big boss of the entire game. The one who blew up the base in Ground Zeroes and responsible for everything. Do you fight him? No.

 
 In my conclusion, was the game even necessary? To go off script and talk about the storyline; the game series was very well tied up in both Snake Eater and Guns of the Patriots. Both had epic moments with boss battles and very exciting and engaging gameplay. We got our resolution in GOTP, between Snake and Liquid and in Snake Eater we have our reason for why Big Boss becomes the bad guy. It didn't really need to be expanded on. Instead the story we would have liked to see; how Major Zero is actually the real bad guy; barely gets mentioned. At one moment, Liquid reveals to Big Boss that he's his son, but Big Boss doesn't seem to even care. And in the twist ending, it makes it even more bizarre that Big Boss would become the villain. Not to mention nearly all the moments of story in the game are shown in the trailers. I mean. What? The removal of discovery, an open world that is empty, the tedious missions that you have to do on repeat, the lack of a proper storyline outside of casette tapes, the lack of any boss battles. I have to ask, is this game even Metal Gear? Sad Face.

Top 5 Games of the (Half) Year

As the summer drought of games has begun I figured I should make a list of the top 5 games of the year, so far. I don't normally like lists, but if nothing else this is to help me reflect at the end of year when Fallout 4, Phantom Pain, Super Mario Maker and possibly, No Man's Sky, hasn't clouded my mind. I'm aiming to also play some games that I might have missed in the next month prior to the release of Phantom Pain. So I might do a Post Launch review for one or two of the games.

5. The Talos Principle - This is a game that was released close to Christmas last year. I know this means it might not necessarily count; but as I'm sure it didn't make it on to anyone else's list in time; I think it's ok to place it now. Because it flew under my radar and the radar of many of my friends and that's just not ok. Because it's a fantastic game that deserves all the praise it gets. I'm still playing through it but I've overcome so many puzzles that I'm confident that the later stages aren't going to flop. I'm amazed how it manages to hold up; using all of the limitations and iterations to make the game feel incredibly rewarding. As the game progresses, each puzzle completed feels like scoring the winning goal in the Champions League Final; as the boundaries of the game, line up with the player's ability to see the solution. Taking heavy inspiration of puzzle design from games such as Portal, the game builds upon the simple mechanics of basically picking up objects and knowing where to place them. All of the objects are also unlocked by solving other puzzles. Whenever the player solves a puzzle, they're given a Tetrimino (basically a Tetris piece), once the player has collected enough of these pieces they can unlock a door or a safe to progress in the game. Each of the items seem really simple both in theory and in practice. Which makes the fascinating uses of them even more amazing. So a quick checklist; we've a game that makes every puzzle rewarding to solve, with inspirations based on Portal, making use of simple mechanics and tools to create complex iterative scenarios and culminating in Tetris-like puzzles. In terms of design, it's pretty much my ideal game.

4. Rocket League - Just. One. More. Game. Who would have thought that the best Football game ever, wouldn't be Fifa? It's difficult to sum up how good it is, but by comparison to Fifa, which I'd argue is methodical, monotonous, flashy - trying so hard to replicate "the beautiful game". A game about jumping cars; putting giant mechanical balls in nets, sounds infinitely more appealing. In the end, you get a game which is impossible to predict. There's no team management, or player position. Every player plays every position and its up to each player to know when to spot the danger and to know when it's time to take the shot. It turns out, that most of the time these opportunities are every time. What this results in is a complete mess where; all the players are jumping and competing for the ball at the same time, most assists are usually failed shots, the acting goalkeeper is as likely make an amazing save as they are to score an own goal and your ability to carry the ball counts for nothing when you have to go so slow to do so. What this means is that all players have the chance to do something epic or clumsy; making each game so enjoyable. Just One More Game...

3. Splatoon - Nintendo's newest IP and first foray into the online shooter market is the most charming and rewarding game to inhabit that market in years. At it's core there are 2 teams of 4 which compete to paint as much of the map as possible within a 3 minute time period. Each player picks a different weapon which can paint the map in different ways. It has its well documented issues of course, but they are long forgotten once a game begins. Painting the map is much more than an act of art; it is a weapon to restrict your opponents, a tool to create new paths and a reflection of dominance. Each time a game starts your left to wonder how well you and your team are doing and even at the end; its often quite hard to tell who has actually won. And more often than not, the winner is decided in the final few seconds; by the team that managed to throw the most paint around. Also, the leaderboard at the end is based on the paint covered and not the amount of enemies you "splattered", encouraging the players to focus on the former; which I believe, ultimately leaves a happier post game too, leaving the players to want a rematch, in defeat.

2. Witcher 3: The Wild Hunt - As a long time Witcher fan. I was of course, incredibly excited for the final instalment of the series. Needless to say, it did not disappoint. So much so that even with its flaws of which there are a few of note; it almost doesn't matter in the scale of the adventure on offer. Rarely, do games offer such vast and enthralling storylines and characters for the player to immerse themselves in. Very quickly, the player is taught the ropes and given the choices to impact Geralt's life. This ultimately, quickly makes the player fond of Geralt; allowing them to fully absorb the world and the characters within it. This did such a good job of keeping me invested, that I played close to 150 hours; covering every inch of the world for quests and loot, and that's without ever playing Gwent (the Hearthstone-esque card game inside). My only slight gripe would be that the combat didn't feel impactful, but even then, that doesn't mean it isn't fun; because it is. It's fluid and responsive; making the player feel very much in control of Geralt. Any other year and this surely would be top of the pile in my Games of the (Half) Year.

1. Bloodborne - There's almost nothing to say. Bloodborne is so completely brilliant that I would struggle to find something to improve within it, other than simply wanting more of it. The combat is the most exciting and engaging, I've ever played in a game. The departure from Dark Souls to create something fast and heart-racing is such a huge leap that the game really doesn't deserve to be compared alongside them. It's closer to something like Castlevania; where the player relies on quick feet and exposing vulnerabilities. And it's not just in gameplay that the game is reminiscent of it, the architecture of the world is similar as well; as a giant red moon looms large over a dark Gothic City. This constantly creates some of the most striking images I've ever seen in a Video Game. Each enemy looks so utterly grotesque and horrific that they perfectly blend into the world that From Software have created. With some of the finest and most realized animations I've ever seen. The subtle storyline sitting over the game, tells the story of a University which discovers deep in the caverns below them; beasts, which have a magical cure-all blood. Ingesting this blood gives supernatural health for a time being before transforming the members of university (and later on, clergy of the churches), into the horrific beasts which make up the game's bosses. Each one more fantastic and cleverly designed than the last, making each fight a dramatic conclusion to the paths the player had just been on. Wrapping all of these mechanical marvels together, is a soundtrack; that is so memorable and haunting, that it really deserves it's own praise as a standalone piece. Hence, when played to the epic encounters with the giant beasts that inhabit Bloodborne; it creates arguably one of the finest experiences in Games of all time.

Honourable Mentions for Top 5 Games of the (Half) Year...

As we're now entering the second half of the year and the summer months which traditionally have a drought in games; I thought I'd give my personal favourite games of the year so far. I'm including games that I've only got around to playing this year also and whilst this is my thinking now; this order may ultimately change by the end of year. I figured I should start with my list of honourable mentions as there are some quality games which I would highly recommend. Also, Journey (PS4) was finally re-released on PS4 in the later half of the year. And whilst it deservedly will make a lot of people's top games of the year. Having already played it many times and not really feeling an incredible difference between the PS3 release, I've omitted from my personal list.

In no particular order:
Her Story, I've just finished playing this last week. I was bit late to the party as much of my twitter feed had already come and gone with it's praise and discussion of the game. In some ways I'm glad as I could experience it completely on my own. The non-linear narrative of the game is obviously the appeal for everyone and it has truly perplexed me. I was also incredibly satisfied to find that I had managed to digest the majority of the story without resorting to the internet for the "keywords".

Super Time Force Ultra, probably the most questionable title on the list for this year. I had long been waiting for its release on the Playstation Network as my Xbox is currently gathering dust underneath my desk. But in the end I caved and bought it during the Steam Summer sale. I was surprised to see that none of my friends on Steam own the game, which is why I placing it on here now. Especially considering the game is absolutely epic. I'm always surprised at my ability to finish a level, as their are many factors which I feel I need to consider which make the game quite daunting. When you eventually overcome a level and are able to see the entire playthrough in one sitting; it's always incredibly enjoyable to see every character running and shooting at the same time. The game makes use of some incredibly smart mechanics which really push the boundaries of iteration.

Majora's Mask 3d, this was my first play through of this game. I never owned an N64, so this was a title that had always eluded me. Despite the use of time being the main mechanic, I never found it too much of a hindrance once I discovered the song to slow time. Which I feel may have ruined the game for me. Not only that but I found all the dungeons tedious. Nevertheless, Zelda is Zelda and the Items mixed with the masks always add some exciting gameplay, and its unlike any other game in the series; which does hold some value.

Batman Arkham Knight, if you'd asked me upon completing the game I'd have said that the game was in my top 5. But having had time to dwell on it; the game hasn't really left a lasting impression which I think says it all. I would point out that I enjoyed pretty much the whole of the game (aside from the Riddler trophies which I did not acquire), and including the batmobile which I felt was well worked into the game. But I couldn't really tell you much about the game and what you do in it. Compared to Arkham Asylum which is still my favourite in the series, despite being somewhat limited to the others.

Ori and the Blind Forest. this game does very little wrong. If indeed anything at all. Which makes it difficult to leave it off the list. It has beautiful art, beautiful music, fluid and expressive gameplay and a large open area to explore and play inside. Unfortunately, I encountered a bug, right at the end of the game which meant that I could no longer continue. Thus halting my entire progress and the enjoyment I had playing the game. To be so engrossed and satisfied to then hit a break wall really upset me and that's why I've not placed it higher. Maybe a bit picky. But I intend to play it again shortly before the year is out so it may yet get on to my top Games of the Year.